I don't think I spend much more time on the toilet than the average middle-aged person. It may seem so because my colon rules my life with an iron... whatever colons rule with. When I have to go, I HAVE TO go, or there will be unspeakable horror to pay. This makes travel unlikely and the commute is at the very edge of the danger zone. But luckily, most of the time (say five days of the week or so) I do my defecation during work hours, either a while after breakfast or a while after lunch. Yes, you need to know.
The other thing you need to know is that my doorbell rings perhaps once a month on average. Probably a little less.
I think the rest of the story more or less gives itself.