September 1st, 2001


What does it take?

How come that whenever a guy feels a bit holy, finally, there's some lady in hot pants just in front of you bending over to rummage in the frozen pizza or something? Why, why? What does it take to become immune to butts and boobs, so I can point at the damned sinners and laugh and say "Hee hee, you have fun now but just wait till you burn in hell while I sing hosiannah and play my harp upstairs!" (Not that I would actually do that, point fingers etc, but it would be kind of fun to know that I could.)

It must be like 14 or 15 years since my last kiss (I wrote it down but I lost the magnetic card reader) and this fall it's 25 years since I tentatively slept with someone. (It was no great success anyway, and I decided "never again". We remained friends for a while though. Yes, I'm pretty sure I was 17. Or was that 16? It's been a while.)

So, like, I don't react physically or anything, but my spirit still gets severely out of balance. I wonder what other christians do right. Perhaps they just pray a lot more, or something.
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